The Broken Pirate King
by SomeDieYoung
Summary: Another ending to Impel Down and Whitebeard war case: After seeing his brother die, Luffy got caught up and ended up to Impel Down as a prisoner. Now his nakama are finally rescuing him, but what is the Strawhat's state after two long years of torture and loneliness? Haunting memories, some blood, mental illness, mild torture. Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Friendship. Give it a chance! :)
1. Who The Heck Are You?

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or any of its characters, all the honor for Eiichiro Oda!**

**Warnings: Some blood (SPOILERS about Ace, war and Impel Down on future chapters). Please say if the rating should be raised ~  
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**Remember to review! Hope you enjoy!^^**

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><p>~ Chapter 1: Who the heck are you? ~<p>

"So, why in the hell they put me with a weakling like you?" Zoro asked irritated. He stepped on the grey-colored elevator hitting the button.

"You know that extremely well", Usopp said, elevator's doors closing after him. "You yourself asked, no, _shouted, _that you wanted to take part of the rescue of-"

"Yea', _alone_-"

"Alone? With your sense of direction? You would've ended up to the North Pole instead of the right cell! Do you remember when you got lost on our ship? Or on all those towns we visited? Or-"

"Oh, shut the fuck up already", Zoro hissed. His cheeks were flaming red, eyes gazing away.

The elevator was left in silence, neither wanting to apologize. Usopp sighed inside his head; things had been like that for way too long now. During the two passing years everyone had been more irritated, always on the tip of their toes. But Usopp guessed that it wasn't a wonder, considering the unlucky event – they all were just worried after all.

Usopp followed screen's growing numbers as they traveled downward. 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… was a little 'bling' sound as the elevator arrived to the bottom stair, doors opening and freeing them from the suffocating silence. Number 6 was burned red in Usopp's eyes, boiling his stomach from inside because of nervousness and worry. Floor 6, the Eternal Hell… This time they really should manage in their plan, or there wouldn't be saving for their nakama. Or maybe it was too late already…

"Come on, let's go now", Zoro said, waking Usopp up from his gloomy thoughts. Usopp hurried his steps, reaching disguised Zoro's side. His friend was wearing a jailor's suit, including a hat and sunglasses. Thick beard and moustache covered his usually so bare face. Usopp knew that he was the same himself, wearing all those things making him unrecognized.

Usopp trembled nervously, saluting some real guards of the jail as they went forward. At least they didn't seem to suspect anything. The atmosphere of the sixth floor was distressing, no other voice being born except their random greetings and shy steps. There were many prisoners just sitting on their cell, watching passers-by with cold, dead eyes.

"What was the cell's number again?" Usopp asked, trying to calm down the shivers running down his spine.

"Shouldn't you remember it for now? Rescuing our friend and not even remembering which his cell…" Zoro started to complain, but stopped as saw Usopp's serious face. Usopp hadn't forgot, how he even could do that? Zoro should've guessed that already.

"Fine", Zoro puffed. "Cell 1013; made completely from Kairouseki, isolated from others, needing always at least a one jailor with a gun to the guard. Unlike the other prisoners, prisoner 1013 is to be taken to a torturing every Monday", Zoro read from his paper. His face didn't reveal any emotion, but Usopp could guess that there was a storm going even inside of the swordsman.

As they had heard from the other jailors, every cell in flat 6 were isolated from the others – apparently there were only people who were a huge danger to whole world, being insanely strong. But cell 1013 was still different – it was said to be a prison inside a prison, a place that shouldn't exist, a place where the ones with no any human dignity left were put to. Usopp knew that his comrade was strong as hell, definitely the strongest person he knew actually. But deep inside of his mind was a voice whispering, making him nervous: _wouldn't two years be too much for anyone, regardless of how strong that person was?_

Usopp tried to calm down as they arrived up the jailor guarding the cell 1013. The mentioned jailor watched them from his spot, holding his gun with blood-stained gloves. Usopp didn't want to know who that blood belonged to.

"Your names and duty here?" the jailor asked, watching them over his sunglasses.

"We're here to take prisoner 1013 to his weekly punishment", Zoro stated after saying his and Usopp's fake names. Or not fake actually, Usopp thought, remembering a certain jailor and his new assistant locked in a closet, fully asleep.

"Can I see some prove of that assignment?" the jailor asked. Zoro handed the paper over, including faked information and Magellan's perfectly mimicked autograph under – Nami could be such a witch with mimicking writing when she wanted.

The jailor checked the paper with narrowed eyes, finally giving a nod. "Fine, you shall go. I'll take my well-deserved break, I can't stand that floor-staring idiot anymore", the jailor said, laughing way too loudly. "Can you believe, he hasn't moved even an inch from the morning, when I hit him to wake him up!"

Usopp felt anger rising rapidly, clenching his hands into fists. Suddenly Zoro was there, putting his gloved hand on his shoulder and giving a glance before his sunglasses.

"Problems?" the jailor suddenly asked, startling Usopp's heart to his throat.

"Not at all! That guy here is just a newcomer, such a coward in addition", Zoro laughed, getting an amused grin from the jailor. Usopp felt his cheeks reddening, knowing clearly that the swordsman was paying him back from the scene on the elevator.

"Well, that prisoner is nothing to be scared of! So, will you survive?" the jailor asked, half joking.

"Yes, sir!" Usopp said and lifted his hands to salute; he was supposed to be working for the first day here after all.

"Oh, you don't need to address me so formally", the jailor said, not being able to hide his proudness. After giving his gun and key to Zoro, he turned and walked away, leaving whistling behind him. Usopp and Zoro stared after him, only one thought swirling inside both of their heads: such an idiot, an easy-deceived person.

Zoro led the way as they walked to the darkest corner of the large prison. Arriving to the cell's door, Usopp tried to undo the lock with the key Zoro had given him. As his hands kept shaking and key missing the lock, Zoro grabbed the key, pushed Usopp out of the way and unlocked the door in a second.

Usopp felt his stomach turning around as giving glance to the cell's walls and floor: old, grey bricks were stained thoroughly with dried blood. Usopp didn't have to ask who that blood belonged to, as they had heard that their nakama was first prisoner in this cell ever.

Slowly both Usopp and Zoro turned their eyes to the prisoner 1013. The boy who once had claimed 30 hours on the day to be the next Pirate King sat now on his knees, wrists in handcuffs attached to the wall with chains and body filled with cuts and blood. Those once so bright-colored shorts were now unrecognizable, although it was a wonder itself the shorts hadn't been changed to a striped prisoner's clothes.

"Luffy?" Zoro asked, a crack being revealed even in his voice as he bent down. The mentioned boy's black hair shined less in the dim light coming outside the cell than usually, his head hanging down. Slowly Luffy raised his face into their sight, eyes dull and dead, smile lost permanently ages ago. Usopp felt his throat tightening – WHAT THE HELL HAD THEY DONE TO HIS FRIEND -, but after all, Luffy was alive!

Usopp felt like he could hug his friend right now and never let go, but he felt cameras staring at them. Even though the silent words couldn't be heard, friendly action could be seen. So, Usopp decided just to talk to his friend, ignoring how much his heart was pleading for the hug.

Usopp felt Zoro watching him as he felt tears streaming down his face and his wavering smile growing wild. "Luffy, my old, dear, best friend-" Usopp was cut off by Luffy, and right as he heard the next words, he felt like he could throw up all his guts.

"Who the heck are you?"

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><p><strong>AN: Sorry for all those who are waiting for "The War Still Rages On" updating, if there is someone! ;_; I've been inspired with this story, and also been reading way too many fanfics... But I'll update that Naruto story as soon as I can, just wait!^^<strong>

**Thanks for reading!~**


	2. Not Without A Fight

**Omg, thanks for all of those favs, reviews and followings of the first chapter! I would have never thought that so many people like my story^^ ****So, here comes chapter two, hope that the change of time format doesn't bother anyone and Luffy doesn't feel like OOC too much. I try to keep my blabbering short, but this chapter is little longer and I worked hard for it, spending my sleep time just for you, readers :'D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or any of its characters, all the praises for almighty Eiichiro Oda.**

**Warnings: Some blood again, some mental illness, flashback, SPOILERS about Ace's destiny, some bad language... "suicide attempt". (Should the rating be raised, seriously? O_o)  
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_Flashback_

**Remember to review and so on!^^ Hope you enjoy!  
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><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <strong>Chapter 2: Not Without A Fight<strong> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Who the heck are you?" I ask, not recognizing those faces which have appeared before me. My question seems to startle them both, me not understanding why – shouldn't every jailor in this hell be so unemotional that they don't blink an eye even when I finally start to bleed?

It's so difficult to concentrate my sore eyes on them, but somehow I feel like I have to do it. The other jailor with a gun has a longer and lighter beard and moustache on his face, as what I can see in the dim light. The other hasn't been able to hide all of his black, curly hair inside his hat. I haven't seen those two before – and I really know every jailor here already, every jailor unpitying me, every jailor hating me with their eyes. It has been a long time since my arriving here… But where am I again? And how much time has it been? I can't remember; all the passed days just seem to twist with each other, fogged in the emotions of pain and emptiness.

"Take off your beard and sunglasses", the jailor with a gun says to the other. "I guess our disguises could deceive anyone." I know that he is lying. During my time here I have learned every emotion on the jailors' faces, every odd low and high pitch on their voices. It is a useful skill after all, as the jailors never speak the truth. At first I stupidly believed them – yay, lunch, yay, my friends have come? – but after every path took me to a certain dark room, I stopped believing.

The black-haired jailor takes off his beard and sunglasses, revealing his face. There are two round eyes looking firmly on me, below them a nose unusually long and a wide mouth turned upside down.

Luffy?" the man says, clearly hesitating. I just look at him. His face doesn't waken any emotion on me; not recognition, not happiness or sadness, not anything. He is just one of my torturers, one of those who hate me for who I am and for _whose_ I am. Only one thing bothers me: the man called me by my first name. No one else has done that here, just calling me by the number, last name or by some evil nickname instead. Bastard, lowlife, brat, mistake, a person with no human dignity, shitty head, weakling, _alone_… Or is Luffy even my name? I can't tell for sure anymore.

The other jailor tells the black-haired man to put his beard and glasses back, starting to undo my handcuffs. In a moment I am on my feet, staring at them with a pure hate on my face. I know the place they are taking me, I know it extremely well.

"I'm not going without a fight", I growl, my sore throat hurting. I don't remember when I have last drunk something. Or eaten. Or spoken, truth to be said.

"Calm down, you idiot", the gun-jailor snaps at me, trying to hit the lock with the key. I pull my chains, soon feeling the wounds in my wrists open up once again. I kick, try to bite, try to hit, anything I am able to. Adrenaline is running wild on my veins, making my starved and weak body shake and feel like full of power. I manage to land a hit on the gun-jailor's jaw as he still is trying to get my handcuffs off. Soon the mentioned man has grabbed me against the wall.

"Listen, fucker", he hisses, trying to keep me on place at the same time. "We're here to save you. Zoro and Usopp", he whispers. I feel his breath on my face. Smells like alcohol.

I do the only thing right to do on that situation: I laugh. I laugh even when I see the horrified looks on the jailors' faces, I laugh until I feel like choking. Don't take me wrong, no – it's not a frigging happy laugh – it is a laugh which shows all my hate towards the jailors, a laugh showing that I clearly know that they are lying. Save me? No one can save me. Not to speak about that anyone hasn't tried even once during my prisoning time. Not even a one person…

There is a picture with people on it, a large group and a ship with lion-head frontfigure. I feel my vision starting to blur, a pain to shock through my heart. The gun-jailor is holding me, but I'm still able to crash my head on the brick wall behind me. There is a loud voice and a pain flashing inside my head, but the painful picture is as good as gone, so I'm satisfied.

"Usopp, help me now", the jailor holding me demands. The other jailor wakes up from his thoughts and tears, grabbing the keys and unlocking my cuffs with trembling hands. At the moment I'm free from my chains, I collapse against the jailor holding me, all energy sucked out of my body. My limbs feel heavy, adrenaline far gone. I try to stand up on my own and land a second hit to the gun-jailor's jaw, but my body doesn't obey any of my commands. Fine. It's about time to my body to turn against me too, anyway.

The two jailors grab me from both of my arms, starting to drag me out of my cell. I close my eyes as we come to the high hall, the bright light of many torches burning my eyes painfully. I don't see because my eyes are now shut, but I feel every turn we take, remember every jailor who greet us, hear every step of those who are bearing me. My bare feet are dragging behind me even though the jailors try to hold me high. That's okay - the pain isn't pain anymore, it's just dull aching in my every toe.

Suddenly, I open my eyes as I feel cold metal under my bare feet. We're on the elevator, or at least I suppose it to be an elevator. I feel dizzy and I'm still tired as hell, so I decide just to be still and watch what is coming as the jailors put me down. The other jailor, the black-haired one, takes some pieces under his clothes and puts them together – what I see looks like a huge sling, with a long pole and round head, a little bag hanging from strings from end of it. The other jailor moves the gun from his back to his front, so it hangs in front of his upper body.

I have no idea what the jailors are doing. They stay silent, and I don't actually care to ask. There's no voice in the elevator, except for my heavy breaths as I try to keep some air in my lungs. Wow, I had no idea that my physical condition was that bad. What was the last time I fought against someone again? Or for what purpose what was it again-

"_Luffy, get the hell out of here! My life, my decisions! What is an idiot like you doing here?" a man with freckles on his face shouts to me, his black hair swinging in the wind.  
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_"I AM YOUR BROTHER!" I shout, seeing tears starting to stream down on the man's face even with that huge distance between us._

_At the next moment the one crying is me. I feel the man's, no, my brother's, limp body pressing me down, his blood staining my hands and clothes-_

I clung to my head even if my hands feel now stained, trying to get rid of that torturing memory. I feel blood dripping on top my nails as the scream escapes my mouth, echoing on the elevator and startling the two escorting me. I feel their touches, hear their voices as they try to understand what is wrong, but it all comes like through a thick glass. Somewhere far away an alarm starts to ring, but it sounds so dull.

Suddenly, the other jailor pulls me to embrace, hugging me. I feel something to break inside of me as the scream stops, tears starting to escape my eyes.  
>"Good, finally you shut up. Usopp, plan B?" the jailor with the gun asks. The other nods, digging then three some kind of gas masks out of his pockets. He gives one for me and one for the other jailor, putting one mask on his own face, after taking his beard and moustache off. The mask looks funny, hiding the nose and mouth from one's view. I put my own mask on and feel my breathing to get even more difficult. The gun-jailor takes his fake beard and moustache off too, switching the mask on.<br>The mentioned jailor then bends down in front of me, lifting me to his piggyback. I smell some alcohol as before, feeling the odd warmness and certainty to beam from that man. I'm thankful for being in piggyback now, actually – I feel like I couldn't have even stand on my own feet anymore.

The elevator plings as we arrive to the right floor. As soon as the door opens, I understand what my escorts' plan was for.

Outside the elevator are at least 20 jailors waiting us, all of their guns pointed at the direction of the elevator. Before anyone even notices, the black-haired jailor grabs his sling and shoots, spreading several pieces of some weird seeds across the large hall. In a moment the seeds grow up to full-sized plants, which spit out odd smoke. The jailors who have started to step closer after the shot, now collapsing one by one.

"Hurry, let's go!" the man carrying me says to other, stepping across the fallen jailors on the ground. My escorts run surprisingly fast, the sling-jailor running ahead as if to act as a protector. There's no one conscious in the hall anymore, and the huge guard animals get hardly any attention as the sling-guy shoots them down. The road seems to be clear, all what matters now is the jailors' fastness.

I still have no idea what the jailors are doing, but I kind of think it can't be as bad thing as I at first thought. We're almost at the end of the hall, and my heart starts beating faster as I see the huge doors in front of us. Through the pair of doors, past some confused guards and second pair of doors, and we're out.

The gun-jailor drops me down and shuts the door with the other jailor. I just sit where I was left, the bright sun murdering my eyes and light breeze piercing even the mask on my face. I gaze at the blue sky, the little sticks getting on my fingers as I squeeze the wooden pier to prevent it from disappearing.

"LUFFYYY!" There's a loud, female voice coming from the end of the pier, someone calling the name that I think to belong to me. I turn my look down, and at the same moment I feel all air to leave my lungs and my heart to stop for over a minute. There's so much water, cursed _water_ just in front of me, not more than couple of steps ahead. I feel strong urge to vomit, all what is left on my stomach is piling up to my throat.

So this is what they planned _all the time. _I should've guessed that they weren't going to free me or save me, not something happy shit like that. No, they are going to finally kill me, and much worse way than by torturing me or by letting me starve to death. Instead of all that they are going to throw me to that treacherously glimmering water, letting me drown and sink like a rock, all the way to the bottom. Why in the fuck was I so stupid, after seeing their lies so many times already?!

"Luffy?" a quiet voice asks me, the sling-jailor looking at me with false worry on his face. I make my decision so quickly that no one gets time to react: I grab the other jailor's gun and lift it up, pointing it straight to my head. I have troubles holding the large gun on the side of my head even with both of my hands, but maybe it's just a good thing. The one shot will do it all.

"I will not follow your sick plans", I hiss for those staring at me. The two jailors beside me are frozen to their places, clearly not knowing how to resolve the situation. At the end of the pier, on the water, is a submarine with couple of its travelers staring at me as the door on top of it is open: a woman with orange hair and a man with curly eyebrow.

"Luffy, I bet that you even don't know how to take safety catch off of that gun, not to speak about knowing how you can load it", the man with the odd eyebrow says, nervousness shining through his joke. There is a faint 'click' as I prepare the gun. "Oh." The said man's eyes widens after my action.

I take a deep breath, putting my index finger to the trigger. "Luffy, wait", the orange-haired woman says with a panic in her voice. I stare at the water hatefully last time, pulling the trigger.

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><p><strong>Yay, cliffhanger! ~ Or is it?<strong>

**Btw, does anyone care to tell how I can edit the text even after publishing it? After publishing the chp 1 I noticed some spelling mistakes, and I don't know how to fix them .-.**


	3. My Nakama Are Dead

**Thanks for the amazing reviews and all once again, especially for FlightWulf!^^ You readers make my day~**

**So, here comes chapter 3; I've started to get hooked with writing that after all I think... Even if this chapter took longer to write than I thought. Hope you enjoy, remember to review! :3**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the (mystical) plot, all the praises for amazing Eiichiro Oda.**

**Warnings: ...Some bad words.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: <em>My Nakama Are Dead<em>.**

BANG. The loud voice split the air and Luffy fell on the pier. Zoro stood there in a shock, seeing Nami to start crying and Chopper to hurry by his fallen captain from the submarine. Everyone else just stood on their places as Chopper hovered around the body lying on the wooden ground. The silence took place, and Zoro saw his own troubled face being reflected by Shitty Cook. Usopp was bravely hiding his crying - or at least trying to do so.

"He…" Chopper lifted his head, tears streaming down his furry cheeks. Zoro felt his heart to drop to his stomach. "He is ALIVE!"

With one step Zoro was by his captain's side, finally daring to look at the unconscious boy. Calm face was shadowed by dirty hair, bullet still inside the rubbery temple.

"I- I- I'll take it off," Chopper stuttered, his hoofs shaking violently. Zoro felt his anger to rise, not being able to deny it anymore. What the hell had made his captain so twisted of his head that he would try to kill himself, making even an youngster like Chopper to see something like that? Zoro knew fully well that Chopper had seen terrible things on their journeys, but to see a dear captain, no, _friend_, trying to put an end to his own days was a whole different thing. That wasn't the captain they had once known.

"I'll do it," Zoro said, taking the tweezers from Chopper.

"But-"

"I can handle that. Concentrate on yourself, we can't afford to our doctor to break down after all," Zoro said, trying to calm down the reindeer. Chopper simply nodded and sat down, wiping off his tears.

"Nami?" Zoro asked, startling both Shitty Cook and the navigator girl. "Can you prepare the ship, as we are going to leave soon?" Nami nodded and disappeared inside the submarine located at the end of the pier. Brook, Robin and Franky had their own mission going with Thousand Sunny, so currently Nami was the most skilled with submarine here.

"Shitty Cook-"

"_Damn Marimo_-"

"Go and help Usopp with those doors. We don't know how long the lock we put there will last", Zoro commanded. Cook puffed loudly but went to those doors, dragging still-crying Usopp with him.

Soon, the pier was left in silence except for some random arguing of those two men. Zoro shifted the tweezers on his hand, putting them in a better position. He asked Chopper to explain the captain's situation, starting to dig the bullet out at the same time.

"W-well," Chopper wavered, slowly getting into his doctor mode. "As you can see, he's just unconscious. Usually the bullet would have just bounced off thanks to his Gomu Gomu powers, right?" Zoro nodded, pushing the tweezers past some layers of rubber. Yack, he would've liked some alcohol right now.

"But as he… As he shot the bullet from so close, I guess his body didn't have time to react. So the conclusion is that the bullet hit him unconsciousness and then got stuck on the side of his temple," Chopper ended.

There was a little 'cling' as the bullet dropped on the pier. Zoro lifted his captain carefully on his back, even though he would've liked more to hit the stupid boy. Maybe one hard hit could've returned the other back to his senses.

"Hurry, the jailors are coming!" Shitty Cook suddenly shouted. He and Usopp were now running towards the submarine, the jail's doors behind them being banged and stretched from their joints. Chopper sprinted to run, Zoro following with Luffy on his piggy back.

Zoro dropped Luffy on the submarine's (Shark Submerge III, as Franky called it) floor against to Chopper's warnings. He slammed the door shut, hearing hurried footsteps of arriving jailors.

"GO!" Zoro shouted as the bullets started to rain down on the submarine's surface. It would be better to be without holes since they were going underwater, especially since the submarine was officially planned for only three persons. Nami turned on the engine, letting them swim to the depths of the dark ocean.

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><p>"Luffy?" Chopper asked with a quiet voice. The whole group sat beside the waking boy's bed.<p>

The journey to the ship had gone in the silent atmosphere, no one willing to say anything about the boy lying on the floor. Only voice there had been Nami's complaints about the difficultness of controlling the submarine with the overweight. But even those laments had seemed half-hearted, navigator girl's thoughts clearly somewhere else.

Their captain was now wrapped in bandages and plasters all over, the dirty shorts being changed to clean ones. Zoro would've liked to help with the treatment, but Chopper had driven him away. He had said that the patient couldn't stand extra fuss right then, but Zoro guessed that he just hadn't wanted to admit to anyone how shocked he was about his friend's state. Zoro had noticed the look in the reindeer's eyes when he saw all those wounds, after all.

Well, Zoro couldn't have helped with the treatment even if Chopper would've allowed him – their plan with the Marines' diversion had been a huge success, so the aftermath had still been to be solved. The good thing had been that they had had a straight way inside the ship with Franky's Soldier Dock System, so no one had gotten hurt. In addition the last battles with the Marines hadn't lasted for too long, as Franky had used Coup De Burst to get them away from there.

Zoro woke from his thoughts as the mummy-looking boy left out a little moan of pain. In a moment Chopper was beside him, watching his friend's every movement. Their broken captain opened his eyes way too slowly in Zoro's opinion. He felt his heart to skip a beat as he finally saw the light in the boy's eyes, smile starting to grow wild on the familiar face.

"Ace-" Luffy froze as he saw them around his bed, smile dying on his face at once.

"Luffy, how are you feeling?" Nami asked from her place. Luffy didn't answer the question, his expression now changing horrified.

"Where am I? Who the hell are you?" the boy blurted out. Even Zoro saw the tension bubbling in his captain's muscles, as though he was going to run away.

"Luffy, calm down-" Sanji was cut off. He had tried to put his calming hand on the boy's shoulder, but it had been swept off as the younger one stood up. Only the standing seemed to take huge effort from the teen, not to speak about the blood seeping through the bandages.

"You are not jailors. _Who _are you?" Luffy asked, suspiciousness living in his dark eyes. Zoro couldn't remember when he had last time seen those eyes so full of hate.

"We are your nakama, bro!" Franky jumped in, giving his friend a concerned look.

"Exactly, even if we haven't seen for so long time, you shouldn't have forgotten about us", Brook added. "I don't have eyes, and yet I remember you! Yo-ho-ho-hoo, a skull joke!"

"_My nakama are dead." _The silence spred over the room along Luffy's sentence, his voice being freezing. Zoro and everyone else sat there with open mouths, Brook's skull joke fully ignored by the only one who had once loved them.

"Luffy-san… What do you mean?" Even Robin's usually so calm voice was now full of restrained emotion.

"Dead, lifeless, gone, six feet under. Clear enough?" Luffy's face was blank as he said those filthy words, and Zoro felt the rage burning inside him again.

"Fucking idiot", he hissed and gripped the boy's shoulder.

"Marimo-" Shitty Cook tried, but Zoro swept him off with a swing of his hand.

"We _are not_ dead. We are right there, in front of you. Have you come fuckin' blind, in addition to craziness?" Zoro growled. He knew that he had gone too far, his friends' expressions proving that. But it didn't matter – if he just could get some recognition out of the boy, he would be satisfied.

"I didn't say that _you_ are dead", Luffy stated. "I said my _friends _are dead, and you are not my friends."

That was too much even for Zoro. He landed one powerful hit in his beloved captain's face, sending him to the floor.

Shitty Cook and Franky were there in a second, restraining Zoro from moving anymore. Chopper and Robin bent beside their captain who laid on the wooden floor, holding his jaw and wailing.

"Idiot marimo, what are you thinking? Luffy doesn't know what he is saying, and you're not helping at all!" Shitty Cook complained, tightening his hold from Zoro's arm. Zoro wrenched himself out of his friends' grips, storming out of the Chopper's room's door.

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><p>Zoro narrowed his tired eyes, trying to suppress the anger swirling inside him. It was almost a night already, but his restlessness just didn't seem to calm down. He felt rage against his stupid captain who originally had to be caught, against his friends, against everything.<p>

But most angry he was towards himself – why in the hell hadn't he been there beside his captain on the war, fighting for him and protecting him when he had needed him most? Why hadn't he managed to save his captain right at the beginning, and why had he let his captain to get a hold of the gun hanging from his neck on the pier? _Why _was the only thought in Zoro's head as he punched the wooden bench.

Zoro knew he had gone too far with hitting Luffy and all. That's what his friends had said too, talking through the observation room's door which Zoro had locked to get to be alone for a while. He just couldn't help himself; after all that was one of the only ways he ever showed his emotions, and he really was worried about his captain's state, seeing a dear friend to act like a whole different person.

The other thing irritating him connected to Luffy's state, as his friends seemed to think that the situation wouldn't get so bad if they just would avoid the magical bad words. As Nami, Chopper and even Shitty Cook had visited him every one on their own turn, they had said that he should have a little compassion towards their _sick _captain. Nuts, crazy, mentally messed up, twisted in head were what Zoro would've said. He didn't speak with pretty words after all, things should've been said as they were.

Zoro laid back on the wooden bench, letting out a little sigh as he heard someone calling for him from the deck below once again. They finally had got their captain back, and yet it seemed that the real Luffy was nowhere to be seen on the broken boy. Zoro gazed through the dusty windows with a weight on his chest, watching the stars to awake on the dark blue sky with crescent moon.

He closed his eyes, driving gloomy thoughts out of his head. All that he wanted for now was his comrade to get better. And maybe some alcohol. And oh, sleep. More than anything he wanted to sleep right now.

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><p><strong>If you wonder, by that "observation room" I mean the round room on the Thousand Sunny's mast - I don't know the real name for that thing, so feel free to tell me :'D<strong>

**Thanks for reading, to next time!^^**


	4. I Don't Wanna Sleep

**Hello again, here comes chapter 4! Thanks for the reviews and else, and for the answers to my previous question :'D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the weird plot, so thank the amazing Eiichiro Oda.**

**Warnings: Some bad words, (mild?) torture, mental illness.**

Normal text

_Flashback_

**Hope you like, please review - it's you readers who I am writing this after all, so I'd really like to hear what you think! :3**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4: I don't wanna sleep<strong>

I don't wanna sleep. In my dreams, no, in _nightmares, _there're memories which I don't want to remember, faces I don't recognize, things which once were important and now just full of emptiness. Not to speak about the time awake: the voices are whispering on the bottom of my mind, saying blames like 'failure as a captain' and 'traitor of his friends'. There're flashes of my past, things that make my heart hurt and head get dizzy. I'm filled with fear, fear which I haven't felt before.

And in my dreams come the tears, the drops which stain my face and make me feel dirty. I have no right for tears; I'm the one who made everyone else pay, after all.

So I don't sleep until I have to. I have developed a way which helps me to stay awake at least for three days at once. The secret is pain, pain which clears the fog in my head and keeps me safe from bad things. Although the nightmares come back tenfold when I finally let myself slip, duh.

It's already a night, as I can see from the stars and the moon shining on the sky. I have no idea when I have last time seen those things, living in the half-darkness for years. The odd reindeer doctor –he said his name was Chopper, but I'm not going to call him with my dead nakama's name – claimed that I was on the jail just for two years. I don't believe him; I don't exactly know how long I was there, but it feels like it was a century.

My head still feels weird, the reason being some medicines according to that reindeer. I don't know if I should believe him or not – he haven't hit me or said bad things, but on the other hand I'm sure that everything is just part of some evil plan. I'm not sure if that place is gonna be better or worse than the jail.

Speaking of that, I have no idea where I am. So I stand up in the night's darkness, being alone in the weird room full of medical books and little jars. My legs tremble under me and my head feels heavy. Why in the fuck can't things work as they are supposed to?

_"I'm not going to tie you down, since I suppose you don't have energy to even stand up right now", _the odd reindeer had said, after I had laid down on the strangely comfortable bed. Oh, how wrong he had been – on the couple last years I had learned how to seem harmless and then attack when nobody knew anything.

I take few first steps carefully, then finally achieving my normal pace. I feel my way through the darkness, opening the door with a small round window in it.

Night breeze wipes my face and black hair as I close the door behind me. For a moment I just stand there, examining my surroundings hid in the dark. Anyone else doesn't seem to be awake, even if I can see a small light coming from crow's nest. My eyes sweep the sky above me, and I feel my heart shrink into a ball. The stars and the crescent moon, all those sky's evil eyes staring and laughing at me. The blackness of the sky feels so suffocating, as if it was trying to pour me to the darkness. To the darkness, which I've been so close to get lost in many times before.

I try to get rid of the observing feeling on my back as I move forward again. I feel movement under me like the floor was swaying – where the hell am I? There're couples of high towers like a masts in my sight, rooms in different levels and elevated edges on the floor. I hear my heart to start beat faster as I move closer to a mentioned edge, a bad feeling knocking inside my head like a woodpecker.

I grab the edge which I now know to be a ship's railing. I feel my face going pale and stomach turn around as I gaze the sight before me – black, cursed water beyond the eye can see, swirling, tossing and turning around on the dark night.

My nails sink on the wooden surface, knuckles going white like a bare bone. The blood is humming in my ears, little black and colorful dots dance before my eyes. I feel like throwing up, but I suspect there's nothing to come out. Hidden memories flash in my messy mind, and I try to keep conscious as I sit down against the railing.

_"My friends are coming to save me on any moment now!" I shout, trying to give a hateful glance for the jailor over my shoulder. There're two jailors with me on the room – other one is keeping my hands with the Kairouseki handcuffs, and the other one is out of my sight. I hear some sound like water poured in a container.  
><em>

_"And why haven't they come yet?" the jailor holding me asks, laughter hidden in his voice. I try to yank off from my chains, only to feel the power vanish from me.  
><em>

_"They're planning it out! They're not so stupid that they would run straight to your trap!" I claim.  
><em>

_"How slow are your friends? It's been _half a year_already," the other jailor with a deeper voice says.  
><em>

_"They're coming! I know it!" I shout, yet feeling a little seed of suspect to drop inside my stomach. What is taking so long from them?  
><em>

_"No, they're not", the jailor holding me laughs. "Because they are-"  
><em>

_"Oi, oi, we're not supposed to tell him yet," the other jailor says, yet I can hear the amusement in his voice.  
><em>

_"-Dead." That is the only word which leaves the other jailor's mouth. I feel the anger rise inside me – how can they make up a sick lie like that?  
><em>

_"You are fucking lying! You think I'm gonna believe you bastards?" The shout leaves my throat, not affecting the jailors at all.  
><em>

_"You are going to believe us, sooner or later," the jailor who isn't holding me sneers. Suddenly he is before me, placing a large platter in front of me. I look at him bored. What stupid thing are they trying on me this time__?  
><em>

_"Ready?" the jailor asks. I don't see the other jailor behind my back, but I can guess that he nods.  
><em>

_"Ready. Trust me, you're going to believe," the jailor states before he presses my head under the water._

_The water fills my mouth and nose even if I try to hold my breath. My hair swirl around my head, water bubbles down my lungs and I feel like choking. There has been countless time I've been close to drowning before – sometimes dropping off from the ship, sometimes an enemy has tried to drown me – but there has always been someone to save me.  
><em>

_"Where are your friends?" the jailor asks again and again, always the same question as he lifts me up from the water. And my answer is always the same – they're coming, they're coming, they're coming. And once again I'm pushed under the water.  
><em>

_I scream their names, my friends' names under the water, but only the bubbles swim to the surface. Little by little my screams come more silent; little by little my answer to the jailor grows more hesitant.  
><em>

_Third push to the water and the name of the skeleton-guy leaves my mind.  
><em>

_Fifth and sixth push, and there goes the names of the cyborg and the black-haired woman.  
><em>

_Eight push, say goodbye to the name of the reindeer-doctor.  
><em>

_Tenth and eleventh push, and the orange-haired navigator and the man with a black suit don't have names anymore.  
><em>

_Twelfth push, and here goes the name of the man with a sling.  
><em>

_Thirteenth push, and finally the swordsman's name fades into the darkness.  
><em>

_And what is my final answer to the jailor's question as the words leave my mouth?  
><em>

_"My nakama are dead."_

I clutch my head with my hands, nails digging in my flesh. I try to breathe but I feel like I'm still underwater, cursed water streaming down my throat like a poison. I rock my body back and forth, trying to keep my head together. There are so many thoughts – why didn't anyone come to my help, why did they went and died without me – swirling in my head, and the stars staring at me from the sky aren't helping.

"Agh!" There's a sudden shout as someone almost walks over me, waking me up from my trance and falling on his face.

"Who's there?" a man who tripped over me asks, a sudden light of matchstick revealing my face. I close my eyes from the brightness, a curly eyebrow and a black suit disappearing from my sight.

"Luffy, Sanji here. What are you doing here? Are you okay?" a worried voice doesn't deceive me. I don't answer to the man, trying to get air in my lungs and keep my thoughts in order. The man resembles my dead comrade, as everyone on this ship. Damn imitators.

"What if we went to the inside?" A dim light shines through my eyelids, and I open my eyes to see that the man has brought an oil lamp in front of me. I shake my head – I don't want to go anywhere, because then I have to see the water. I watch the shadows to dance on the dull light, as the other man sighs and stands up, glancing on the sky.

"Oiiiiiiiiii, Marimo! I know you are here, so stop your damn sulking and come down right now!" he shouts, hands cupped around his mouth. I start rocking fro again, this time from coldness. I haven't noticed how cold here really is, me only wearing bandages and some random shorts.

The blond-haired man gives a glance on me, taking his only shirt off with a sight, wrapping it then around me. I feel the remaining heat of the other and a smell of cigarette and some kind of men's perfume. The man lights up a cigarette just as a green-haired man climbs down from the crow's nest.

"What the hell, Shitty Curly?" the mentioned man asks grumpily, clearly just awoken. "And what are you doing here? Strip dancing in the light of the oil lamp in the middle of night, eh?" he notes as his eyes sees the bare chest of the smoker-man.

"I'm not stripping, Idiot Marimo," the blond hisses and puffs some smoke out of his mouth. "There is something wrong with Luffy, as even you can see." The green-haired man watches at me in surprise with his only eye, then turning his head quickly off as remembering the hit before.

"Fine, let's take him inside," he states, walking beside me. I try to protest as I'm once again lifted up from my hands and dragged forward, but it feels like the scene before has drained out all my energy. Damn it, when I became so weak I can't even fight against anyone?

After that everything goes pretty quickly – or at least it feels like that, me still feeling a little dizzy. The green-haired man goes to get the odd reindeer as we get inside the ship, warmness starting to wrap its fingers around me. The reindeer starts to hover around me when he comes, the two men putting me down on the same bed I left and covering with me a thick blanket.

"It's my fault, I should've know that our captain won't keep calm for a minute!" the reindeer cries, rubbing his eyes.

"Come on, Chopper, anything didn't happen," the man with the blond hair says. I feel my eyes to flicker, but no, I'm not going to sleep. I still have one day left to stay awake.

"I know," the reindeer says as he walks around the room, clearly searching for something, "but think about what could've happen. It's really cold outside and…"

"Let it go, already," the green-haired man hisses from his chair. "I want to sleep."

"Shitty Marimo, always thinking about yourself…"

"What did you say, Damn Curly Brow-"

"Please be quiet, you both! It's still night here, and Luffy has to get sleep too." The two men release each other from the death grips they have took as the reindeer lectures them.

"Now, Luffy," he says as he turns for me, talking like for a little baby. "I'm going to give you medicine which will put you to sleep for a moment, so just be calm and don't resist, okay?" He gives a glance on my face, making sure that I don't have any urges to attack him. I just look him tired, hoping that they all would go away already and leave me alone.

There's a little sting as he pushes the needle on my hand. For a moment there's a flash in my mind – the jail, the guards, a long needle – but soon the medicine takes the picture away.

"I don't wanna sleep," I whisper at panic, my eyes narrowing because of sleepiness. I try to scratch my arms through the bandages to stay awake, but my hands feel like a pair of spaghetti.

"Good boy, just sleep for now," the reindeer hums, ignoring my complaints.

I feel the nightmares' cold fingers to reach for my spine and drag me down with them, as the sleep runs through my veins in a form of a liquid.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading, hope we'll see at Wednesday!^^<strong>


	5. Temporary AN - Important!

Hey for all my dear readers!

I thought to tell that the next chapter is going to take a while. I don't actually have writer's block or something like that, I just don't have time to write even if I wanted to right now; there're 5 tests, some essays and shit like that coming up, so I have to studyyyyyy... Especially since some of those tests are very important and I just lazed around on the summer when I would've time to read :'D

But don't worry! The hell is over after this month, so I will be back in the beginning of October^^ Keep waiting, wish me luck, and don't abandon me ;_; And sorry for all those who got hyped up of the new chapter, how many persons' hope I just broke? Remember to keep reviewing also, it gives motivation to write when I finally have time for it^^


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